I so don’t want the week to begin. Bleh! A good weekend though which hasn’t happened a lot lately. I didn’t do anything! I planned on a few projects over the weekend and just didn’t do much of anything. I have to get better at that! I have a busy day today and then tomorrow off. Sadly a ton of stuff going on tomorrow so it will be like work haha. My mom wants to come up and talk for a bit. I didn’t specify that I didn’t want him to come, I hope she knows. I feel like I am getting a cold…feels like something is settling in my chest. Just what I need! Well, I guess I should go get ready for work and start my day.
August 18, 2008
August 17, 2008
Quote
A friend is someone that knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. A friend is a hand that is always holding yours no matter how close or how far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and who always, always cares. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart.
August 16, 2008
Quote
A wonderful person in my life said this to me…..it is so very true.
“Two sorrys equal an I love you.”
Quote
The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.
–Mother Teresa
8.16.2008 @ 5:00 pm
It has still been a pretty good day. I didn’t spend hours thinking about everything like I normally do but rather just kept busy. Here and there I did find myself thinking about my troubles and it is getting easier day by day to think about it and not feel broken from it. Another small victory of the day…wahoo! I haven’t cried once today! I hope this becomes a trend.
I talked to my mom for a bit today and she mentioned that she and my step-dad are going through counseling. Am very relieved that they are both getting the help they need….if they don’t change it, it will not just fix itself. Just talking to her she seemed very optimistic in that she was able to say things to him that she hadn’t been able to before. It always helps to put things out on the table like that, the initial sting can be painful but it I have to believe it always results in good.
One day, though I believe it is still far away, I will have to have to put these feelings of anger I have for him on the table. My therapist or psychologist, whatever she is, made a suggestion the other day that I found very interesting….write him a letter that I never mail. She said it can be very liberating to think about what you would say even If you will never say it. I am not even sure if I am ready for that, though I do admit it sounds interesting.
Looking back over his and my relationship, I don’t know if I’ve ever put things out on the table with him. I think I’ve always been a bit scared of him. Growing up it was always easier to go hide in my room or go to a friends house rather than have that confrontation. To this day, that is how I handle confrontation….I would rather just make it go away. Hmmm, is that right or wrong? I guess I don’t feel it is wrong to a point. I will have to think about that a bit more.
8.16.2008 @ 11 am
I had to call my mom today and he answered the phone. She was busy so I asked him to have her call me then I couldn’t get off the phone quick enough. It is so awkward. I really hope it gets easier to have him even distantly in my life but on the other hand I don’t know if I really want it to. So, I guess the first awkward moment has come and gone and I have survived. Yay! In celebration, I decided to not pull up my bathroom floors and I went to get a pedicure…my toenails are light pink now!
Quote
Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
-Langston Hughes
8.16.08 @ 8:00 am
So far it seems like a good day. I couldn’t sleep last night so around midnight I went grocery shopping. I’m trying to make a habit of creating a menu for the week so so I am eating a bit better which I hope will help me feel better too in the long run. I am using a cookbook that is prettty awesome…it is a five ingredient, 15 minute cookbook. When my mom stayed with me she pulled a couple of recipes out of it and I had forgotten that I even had it. When she left she asked me for the name of the book because she wanted to get it for herself so I sent it to her last week as a gift. This week I will try Chicken with a creamy dijon sauce and a teriyaki pork tenderloin – yummy.
I am going to take a class on SL this morning, it starts in about 30 minutes….trying to learn how to make clothes. I can barly mend my own clothes so figured that I would give it a try online – haha. I so don’t want to do anything today – Bleh. My to-do list for today: Pull up the bathroom flooring, vaccum, do a few loads of laundry, clean my wood floors, dust my bedroom furniture. Run to Walgreens and pick up some drain-o and mouse traps (my mom says I have mice in my garage – ewww). Oh, and take my dog for a walk before it gets too hot outside.
August 15, 2008
One of my favorites….
“At one glance, I love you with a thousand hearts.”
–Mihri Hatun, 16th Century Turkish Poetess
